ILLUSTORIA MAGAZINE
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Short Imagined Monologues
Send your short imagined monologues to websubmissions@mcsweeneys.net.
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August 3, 2021I Am a Female Character in a Fantasy Movie, and It Is Integral to the Plot That I Be Topless
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July 27, 2021I’m the Guy Who Wears Jeans in the Summer, and You’ll Never Get Me to Admit That I’m Burning Up
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July 12, 2021I Am an Alien Ambassador and I Only Wish to Speak to Your Richest Human
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July 6, 2021I Am Poseidon, God of the Sea, Reminding You That Every Body Is a Beach Body (But Specifically Virgins Undefiled by the Lusts of Mortal Men)
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June 23, 2021I’ll Come Out of Retirement for This Top Secret Mission, But How Will It Affect My Social Security?
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June 14, 2021Jesus Christ Can’t Stop Obsessing Over His Follower Count
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June 10, 2021Your Neighbor With the Loud Motorcycle Who’s Making Your Life a Living Hell Introduces Himself
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May 25, 2021Why I, the COVID Vaccine, Will Never Get Chad from Tampa
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May 20, 2021The Current Real Estate Market Scoffs at Your Competitive Offer
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May 10, 2021Hey, Girl. It’s Me, the Ball Pit. Can We Talk?
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May 6, 2021I’m the Judge Who Approved the Custody Arrangement in The Parent Trap, But in My Defense, I Didn’t Think They Would Go to the Same Camp
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May 3, 2021It’s Me, God, and Yes, I Do Know What Brian Wilson Would Be Without You: Fine
Trending 🔥
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November 22, 2023Post-Dinner Interview with a Twelve-Year-Old Who Sat at the Grown-Ups’ Table for the First Time on Thanksgiving
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November 14, 2023In the Office Auto-Reply Emails for a Hybrid Work Schedule
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February 23, 2012Lines from The Princess Bride That Double as Comments on Freshman Composition Papers
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September 2, 2021Oh My Fucking God, Get the Fucking Vaccine Already, You Fucking Fucks
Recently
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December 2, 2023“Just Say the Word, and I’ll Bring My Whole Heart to Anything”: Remembering Gabe Hudson
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December 1, 2023A Message from the Chancellor on the Recent Student Protest
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December 1, 2023We Can’t Wait to Be Part of Your Neighborhood, but First We Need to Dig This Massive Hole
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November 30, 2023A Garnet Hill Lady Does MDMA