THE EYES & THE IMPOSSIBLE
“A work of dazzling ingenuity.”
—San Francisco Chronicle
Short Imagined Monologues
Send your short imagined monologues to websubmissions@mcsweeneys.net.
-
March 9, 2022I Am the Man Who Says “Ciao”
-
March 3, 2022I, High-Powered Fashion Editor Miranda Priestly, Demand an Assistant Who Is Terrible
-
February 23, 2022The Protagonist’s Best Friend Would Like to Stop Having to Shoehorn So Much Exposition into Their Dialogue
-
February 18, 2022I’m Abraham Lincoln and I Beg of You, Please Commemorate My Birthday with Mattress Sales
-
February 2, 2022Punxsutawney Phil Reckons with His Jungian Shadow
-
January 28, 2022Hello, It’s Me, the Guy Who Gets Visibly Angry at an Image of Minnie Mouse in a Pantsuit
-
January 12, 2022Ho There! I Am a Nineteenth-Century Iron Worker and I Await the Day This Factory Is Refurbished into an Up-Market Food Hall
-
January 4, 2022I’m HBO Max, and Oh My God, What Is It Now?
-
November 17, 2021I’m Captain Ahab and I Say We Must Never Transition Away from a Whale-Based Energy Industry
-
November 9, 2021I Am Godzilla, King of Monsters, and I, Too, Had a Brief Relationship with Pete Davidson
-
November 3, 2021It Is I, William Shakespeare, and I Am Begging You to Stop Letting High Schoolers Put on Productions of Macbeth
-
November 1, 2021An Afternoon with Me, the Man in an REI Print Ad
Trending 🔥
-
May 25, 2023A Day in the Life of a Woke Third-Grade Teacher, as Imagined by a Far-Right Politician
-
March 19, 2018I’m Going to Close This Deal Using Business Words I’ve Heard Men Yell in Airports
-
May 25, 2023I’m Your Mom Playing a Video Game, and I Will Turn This Avatar Right Around If You Don’t Watch Your Tone of Voice
-
May 26, 2023When to Turn Your AC on in New England: A Decision Guide
Recently
-
June 9, 2023Would You Like to Set Google Chrome as Your Default Browser, or Would You Prefer Centuries of Untold Pain and Torment?
-
June 9, 2023HELP PROVE I’M INNOCENT BY SENDING ME MONEY IMMEDIATELY
-
June 8, 2023Notes on Your Screenplay from a Nihilist
-
June 8, 2023Carrie Bradshaw Reflects on the Smoke from the Canadian Wildfires