THE EYES & THE IMPOSSIBLE
“A work of dazzling ingenuity.”
—San Francisco Chronicle
Short Imagined Monologues
Send your short imagined monologues to websubmissions@mcsweeneys.net.
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August 26, 2022A Rebuttal to “Escape (The Piña Colada Song)” By Me, the Woman Who Wrote the Personal Ad
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August 22, 2022Wake Up, You Lazy Skin Sack. I’m a Songbird and It’s 4 A.M.
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August 10, 2022I Know I Said I’d Walk Five Hundred Miles for You, But I Am Now Having Second Thoughts
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July 29, 2022I’m Stacy’s Mom, and Here Are All the Things I’ve Got Goin’ On
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July 20, 2022Big Baby Brody Calls It a Career
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July 15, 2022I Am Ariel the Little Mermaid, and I’d Like to Be a Fish Again
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July 14, 2022I’m the Person in Charge of Printing Out the Entire Internet
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July 1, 2022Laws Should Be Based Solely on the Words of Constitutional Authors Like Me, the Guy Who Died After Shoving a Piece of Whalebone in His Dick
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June 28, 2022I’m the Last Bottle of Ketchup at Mar-a-Lago and I Live in a State of Constant Fear
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June 24, 2022The Virgin Mary Reclaims Her Birth Story
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June 21, 2022Batman Contemplates the Non-Existence of Masturbation in the DC Universe
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June 3, 2022I Am a Carnivorous Kestrel Falcon with Postpartum Depression
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June 1, 2023You Think I’ll Buy That Just Because It’s Pride-Themed? Because You’re Right
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June 1, 2023An Open Letter to My Breasts on Their Working Conditions and Recent Complaints of “Burnout”
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May 31, 2023If What Millennials Were Taught in School Were Actually Useful
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May 31, 2023Short Conversations with Poets: Katie Farris