MCSWEENEY'S QUARTERLY SUBSCRIPTIONS
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Short Imagined Monologues
Send your short imagined monologues to websubmissions@mcsweeneys.net.
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September 14, 2023I Am the Lord Your God, and I Want You to Know That I Invented Boners
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September 12, 2023Mike Pence on That Time When the Insurrectionists Wanted to Hang Him
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August 31, 2023I, Kitty Bennett, Have Fallen for a Man Who Busted Out the Splits on the Dance Floor
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August 30, 2023A Few Words from Your AI-Powered Vibrator
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August 28, 2023Let Me, a Man Accused of Sexual Harassment Against a Football Player, Explain Feminism to You
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August 22, 2023How to Defuse a Bomb, According to My Mother
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August 15, 2023I’m Racketeering Charges, and I’m Here to Rock This Presidential Indictment-Fest Like You Wouldn’t Believe
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August 7, 2023Lindsay Lister’s Op-Ed to the Stars Hollow Gazette
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August 2, 2023I Am Trump’s Criminal Lawyer’s Criminal Lawyer’s Criminal Lawyer’s Criminal Lawyer, and Once Again, I Have No Fucking Clue What Is Happening
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August 1, 2023Captain Ahab’s Third Hour Playing the Claw Machine at Dave & Buster’s
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July 27, 2023I’m the Sapphic-Coded Best Friend in a Movie or TV Show, and I’m Definitely Not Queerbaiting
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July 20, 2023Now I Am Become Pretentious, the Sayer of a Famous Quote
Trending 🔥
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September 22, 2023It’s Decorative Gourd Season, Motherfuckers
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September 15, 2023Son, You’re Old Enough to Know the Truth, There is No Such Thing as the “Invisible Hand of the Market”
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September 22, 2023Welcome to Rosalita’s Boarding House for Girls and Women Rescued by Bruce Springsteen from Dead-End Small Towns
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September 28, 2023A Template for Right-Wingers Upset with Taylor Swift
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October 2, 2023McSweeney’s Books: A Conversation with Dave Eggers About His Book, The Eyes and the Impossible
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October 2, 2023If Burger King’s Jingle “Whopper Whopper” Were the Only Literary Form
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September 29, 2023I’m Your Three-Year-Old Interior Designer and This Is Your New Home Makeover
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September 29, 2023Job Posting: Lead Bro for Vivek Ramaswamy’s Campaign